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Name: Michael
Country: United States
State: North Dakota
Metro: Grand Forks
Birthday: 1/10/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: Art, Music, Guitars, Cars, Jesus, Friends, Photography, Fishing, Hunting, Females, Hunting for Females, Driving, Water, Camp, Outdoors, Downtown, Coffee, Hands, Cowboy Hats, Beat-Boxing, Teeth, Exotic Travel, Good Smells, Aaiijjhabootietai, Movies That Feel, Flowers, Warm Days, Large Bodies of Water, Conversations that Move, Acting like I'm Gangsta, Making Noises, Children, Coldplay, And Being Real.
Expertise: Opera.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Medical
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/11/2005
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| I have realized in the last few days that I am "switched off" right now. I have blocked virtually all of my emotions. I am pretty much functioning as a robot right now. I never really knew myself to be able to do that, but that's exactly what's happening right now. It's not good folks. I have turned into machine that is specialized in avoidance. I avoid feeling emotion, I avoid thinking about certain things, I avoid doing things that really matter. The heart rate monitor is in flatline. And to think that oftentimes this is the person I think I want to become permanantly. Numb, careless, and cold. | | |
| So, it's my birthday today. This one definitely WON'T go down in the history books, but that's fine, not all of them can. But, my brother Peter dedicated this song to me today on his blog, and strangely, the lyrics are remarkably fitting for my life right now. Not bad Peter. Plus, you can't go wrong with Jimmy Eat World. Enjoy. "23"
I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live...
Not stopping...
It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine
You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here I'm now I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine... | | |
| "Abba, I surrender my will and my life to you today, without reservation and with humble confidence, for you are my loving Father. Set me free from self-consciousness, from anxiety about tomorrow, and from the tyranny of the approval and disapproval of others, that I may find joy and delight simply and solely in pleasing you. May my inner freedom be a compelling sign of your presence, your peace, your power, and your love. Let your plan for my life and the lives of all your children gracefully unfold one day at a time. I love you with all my heart, and I place all my confidence in you, for you are my Abba." --Manning | | |
| Do you ever wonder if the moments where you truly feel the weight of life pressing in on your chest is just a symptom of boredom and tiredness, or if it's a side effect of the actual experience of "living" -- being human? It seems like I've been punched in the face the last few weeks by the "human condition" and the overwhelming fact that there is so much hurt in this world. I recall my third semester at UND. I was sitting in a small room studying, just next door to the coffee shop. A student was standing in the hall just outside of the room talking to his mother on his phone. He told his mother that he was doing "okay". When his mother inquired further, his voice broke as he said "Mom, I'm so lonely." The harsh reality of pain and heartache struck me hard at that moment. My favorite song right now is by a band named Leeland called "Tears of the Saints". I've listened to the song countless times, and not once have I made it through the song without completely breaking down in tears. I honestly don't know why, but the words are so powerful that they break me every time. The opening line says "there are tears from the saints for the lost and unsaved. We're crying for them come back home." I don't know what breaks me more: the fact that so many unbelievers are broken, wounded, empty, and lost, or the fact that so many believers are the same way. I think we've really missed something. We are vulnerable, breakable, scarred, bloody, and scared. Have you forgotten that the God some of us worship was the same way? That's a beautiful thing. | | |
| I just want to be done with school right now. I'll probably spontaneously combust before the week is out. | | |
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